????

today kinda sucks. it's too hot and my insecuritys  have gotten the best of me.        sometimes i have to ask myself, self, what the fuck are you doing with your life? and   what do i do?....... i cry, because i don't know.!!!! im 42 years old and i guess i have a boyfriend who likes to still play games and make my heart hurt.   when will i learn??? i am lost. i dont know what to do.....,,